Here we go again, your monthly teacher post! I know you’ve been DYING for this latest issue.
The more I teach, the more realizations I come to. For example, kids don’t pay attention to me HALF as much as I thought they would. Sometimes I could do cartwheels in front of them and they’d be oblivious. I mean, hellooooo? Aren’t I entertaining? Just kidding… This is how a student brain works: If it says, “Spanish is tricky and I don’t feel like listening to the teacher today,” that automatically implies a few things:
- I think I’ll start daydreaming about that cute boy I saw in the hallway.
- I’ll stare off into space.
- I’ll pull out a pad of post it notes and bounce it up and down like a yo-yo/accordion. Why….? -___-
- I’ll try to poke my neighbor in the eye with my pencil.
- I’ll attempt to text in hopes of not getting caught.
- I’ll go blow my nose 800 times.
Another thing I’ve learned these past 12 (HOLY COW WHERE IS TIME GOING) weeks, is that I am expected to be SuperWoman.
See, look, it’s me! Except not really. I’d probably get reported for wearing an outfit like that to school and never be allowed to teach again. Now, as a teacher… I mean Superwoman, I’m expected to have the energy of the energizer bunny (it’s really hard to compete with that guy, let me tell ya…), have a rock of an immune system, be a walking encyclopedia, have the patience of a saint, the creativity of [insert famous artist/composer here], and look presentable all the time (sadly, I had to kiss the college sweatpants look goodbye). I’m a psychologist, a mom, a nurse, a comedian, a role model, a lover, a listener, an advice giver, and not afraid to make a fool of myself anymore. It’s been a learning experience, that’s for certain. I can’t tell you the number of times I have come home and immediately had my face hit the pillow (energizer bunny fail).
I’d also like to dedicate a section of this blog to “That awkward moment when…”
That Awkward Moment When….
A student tells you he’s failed as your student… and as your friend…
Your student stands up and his pants fall down.
Someone attempts to make Mexican hot chocolate for food day and it ends up tasting like an ash tray.
Your students reenters the room after getting a drink, coughs, and a piece of tortilla chip flies out of his mouth and onto the carpet and the entire class sees to which he then proceeds to yell that he coughed up some of his lung. “MY LUNG. DID YOU NOT JUST SEE ME COUGH UP A PIECE OF MY LUNG? OH MY GOSH, MY LUNG IS ON THE CARPET. Señorita, can I go to the nurse? I just coughed up my lung.”
Your student asks you for your phone number… or your address.. or to prom for Spring of 2014..
You tell a really good joke and start to laugh then can hear the crickets in the background because no one thought it was funny. What do you call a no eyed deer. NO IDEAR. dum dum dum shhhh
3 drums and symbol fell off a cliff.. dum dum dum shhh
You get mistaken as a high schooler on casual Friday and get asked for your hall pass by a fellow co-worker. He was charmed to meet me, I was mortified.
As always, I love what I do and look forward to work every day. I think I simply need to start incorporating coffee into my diet…
That’s all I got for now. I’m gonna go practice the guitar
Next month’s issue: Running into your students in public settings and they try to call you, “Katie.”
Chao for now mis queridos.